Your Personal Survey on “Parenting After Divorce” ebook

1. What is your personal dilemma or challenges, which draw you to this book?

Initially, I was draw to the book because I get so much from “Single Dads Column,” I knew his book would be just as good as what I read through his blogs and on Facebook.  Being that both my children are Fatherless it is nice to get a male’s perspective on these issues.  I worry about the stigma out there on single parented children, so I wanted the advice of someone who has been there done that.  Bruce has raised his kids through the trial and tribulations I am now facing, so it is good solid advice.  I wanted help dealing with this and for the future when/if the Father comes back into our child’s life how to handle it.  Not only did I want to apply it to the other parent, but also all the extended family.  The biggest thing I would say drew me to this book is Bruce talks about what is truly important, the kids and how he did it himself.

2. How did this book make you feel from beginning to end?

Throughout this book, I felt Bruce had a secret window into my own life and private thoughts.  Many private feelings I am currently dealing with were addressed and revealed in a manner that made me feel it is not only normal, but I am truly not alone in this.

3. What is one message from book you feel stands out for you?

This is tough, since there are so many messages that stand out to me.  The whole relationship ending part is not only inspiring, but nice to know I am not the only one feeling these emotions through it.  I keep telling myself to ignore what is going on in the other home, which has had a positive impact.  Bruce is right; it is only about my relationship with my kids.  The points made about kids and change I think will help the kids in the long run.  The communication with the kids is a tool I will refer back on as we embrace the years ahead.  I love the parenting plan and am glad it is out there, because those are all things that I was thinking about and feared how they would be addressed.

4. What surprised you most about this book in general?

I was surprised that I cried while reading it and the comfort that the words brought me.  I read tons of self-help books, among other types of books, and this book actually gives me hope and things to look forward to.  My tears were from the fact that I am facing the words I read.  I have been getting negative feedback from outside sources and these words reassured me not to listen, keep them out of your life and do what is right.  The section on the other home/parent opened my eyes and freed me.  I did not go into reading this book thinking it would help me on such a deep emotional level.

5. What did you not like about the book? Even if its silly!

I honestly can say I did not come across anything I did not like in this book.  The way it is written actually made me feel like I was talking to a longtime friend.

6. How long did it take you to read this book?

Due to my circumstances, it took me 2 days to read it.  There were parts I stopped on to truly absorb for a while.

7. What suggestions would you provide for the second edition

I will need some time to think about suggestions for the second addition.  Possible my questions I have can help with this.

8. Is this content something you would share

Yes, I think this is something that should be mandatory for all to read while in the divorce process.  Too many parents forget the kids and focus on getting back at each other or being selfish.  We have a society full of self-serving people and the focus needs to be brought back to where it belongs—The Kids!

9. Would you buy or read this book if you saw it in print?

Definitely, call me old fashion, but I enjoy having a print copy in my hands.

10. Do you feel this book helped in your own personal quest and how?

I do not have any support through family and friends.  The few I tried to talk with did not understand my private feelings.  Unfortunately, one very important member in my life took the side of the other parent causing unnecessary drama and issues they truly know nothing about.  Just like I would love the picket fence and happy little family, I don’t have the proper communication and support from the other parent.  Through this book, I now have tools to utilize in this journey.  I put focus on trying to get the other parent involved, when all of my focus needs to be on my precious children.  I allowed outside factors to grip onto my emotions, which I hate to admit affected my children.  Like the saying, “You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make them drink it.”  Deep inside, I know it is all about the kids, but now have the tools to completely direct all attention on them.  This may sound silly, but in ways I allowed others to make me feel like focusing completely on them, the kids, was not the right thing to do.  Time invested in our kids is love and security to them.  My family and I are now headed in the right direction, with the proper tools for the things I feared.  The entire book is full of the right combination to put an end to the negative statistics that plague single parenthood.  I have told the other parent a million times his relationship with me is completely separate from his with our child, and he may never see this, but I have to keep moving forward.  If his perspective ever changes, this book will help me through my deepest fears that may arise, by than we will a tightly united family.

D. Justice